She Wanders Issue 5 ~ What happens when we grow up, without sisters?

What is the Sister Wound?

Growing up I was one of 5 sisters, and yet I was still alone.

I was the only offspring of my mother and father and I used to joke that I broke the mould, but really I was lonely and insecure, always feeling like I never truly fit in, or belonged anywhere.

Although I had an older half sister that relationship was never one of close bonds, but rather of competition to see who could earn our fathers love. We only saw each other a few times a year and I actually remember feeling joyful every time she would fail at something, as it meant despite what I saw as my "flaws" (to loud, to energetic, to talkative...) I was the "good sister".

This changed quickly when my parents went on to have children with their new partners and I was replaced by the newer models.

Despite trying hard these relationships never quite took off either.

I grieved for these missed relationships and for years, I felt like something must be wrong with me.

That maybe I wasn’t built for sisterhood.

That if the women I shared blood with, couldn’t hold me… then maybe no one could.

It left me with a story I carried for years: that women weren’t safe. That sisterhood was either shallow, or sharp. That closeness always came with a cost.

My sister wound was ignited early and it took many many years of deep journeying to uncover these wounds and internal work to tend them as best we can.

One of the biggest revelations I had was when I realised that sisters aren't just formed by blood, by shared DNA, sisterhoods are formed through mutual love, respect and hard work.

Just like any relationship they need to be tended, nurtured and given space to grow.

My sister wound is still there, I describe it to my students as being covered by a thousand cuts, invisible to the naked eye but yet fatal if we leave them untended. These cuts are caused every time a woman betrays us, be that sister, step-mother, teacher, friend or family.

If we ignore these wounds we'll slowly begin to bleed out, to become bitter and jaded or worse, we then go on to perpetrate them in others in the hope that by someone else suffering, our pain is somehow lessened.

But if we acknowledge them, if we are aware of them we can gift our self space to tend to them, to help them heal.

 Over time, I've began to see through the story I taught myself as a child. Not by bypassing the pain, but by slowly choosing to believe that something else was possible.

I started imagining a new kind of family.

One where women gather not to judge or compete, but to witness and uplift.

One where we hold space for each other’s healing, where we could give and receive support, without needing to fix anything.

One where we learn, slowly and gently, how to belong to each other again.

When I began TheSacredFeminine.co I had a vision I wanted to create a community where women could be held safely, where they could drop their masks of perfection and simply come together in there wholeness.

I writing more on this topic in a series of posts starting with What is the Sister Wound.

I would love to know, do you feel the pain of the sister wound?

I hope you have a beautiful week 🌻

As always with love + gratitude,

Lia Skye xoxo

PS: Want to become a women who holds other in sacred space? Who is a place of safety for themselves, and others? My signature training Sacred Nest starts in one week and I would love you to join me. This program embodies the practices of the sacred feminine to help you become a healer of the sister wound.

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